Unraveling
by Nadie2
Summary: Yep, it's a threads story. I couldn't resist. It's going to have a lot of angst, and a dose of cheese.
1. Unraveling

**Note: Ok, I swore I wasn't going to write a threads story, but here it is. I could never see it working, but then I thought about changing my timing, and everything fell into place. So this story could have happened during the actual cannon series, and we'd never know.**

This was by far the worst month of Sam's life.

The month her mom had died, that had been rough.

Desert Storm, that was less than fun.

That month when she was sixteen and recovering from the crash of her brand new motorcycle was not a picnic.

Her various experiences with aliens taking her over or torturing were not exactly things she wanted to relive.

When her nephew was born, and Mark hadn't even called her, she'd been less than thrilled.

The month her dad was so sick from chemo he couldn't cry wasn't exactly her favorite.

But _this_ month, the hits had just kept coming. Everything was coming apart at the seams, unraveling.

First Daniel had been kidnapped, and probably tortured and killed by a robot who looked like her. A robot that wouldn't have existed if it weren't a copy of her.

Then Pete bought a house without asking her. And she could no longer ignore the nagging feeling in her heart. She knew she couldn't marry Pete. She couldn't just suck it up and pretend, and she couldn't just spend her life with someone she wasn't in love with.

But she still couldn't have the guy that she was actually in love with. She'd been telling herself that he was off-limits until they won the war. But now the war was won, and he was still off-limits. She was still unwilling to quit the Air Force. She still wouldn't ask him to quit. And switching from SG-1 to SG-2 wasn't an option now that the Colonel became a General. She'd still be in his chain of command.

Still, she went to the General's house. She planned on confessing everything. She wanted to beg him to tell her not to marry Pete. It was the same game that she'd been playing ever since the elevator. She'd play chicken, and he wouldn't take the bait. He wouldn't tell her not to date Pete any more than he wouldn't tell her to quit the Air Force.

And he was barbequing with a woman. The General was DATING someone. Someone from work, to make the whole thing a bit suckier.

Not that she really had a right to complain. I mean, she was ENGAGED, for crying out loud! She moved on, why couldn't he?

Because, she really couldn't move on, and if _he_ could… after all this time, it _had_ been in her head. She loved him, but he didn't love her. Maybe flirted with her, and a few jokes with multiple meanings, but never loved.

Then, _while she was still standing there_ with her heart crushed into confetti on the General's deck, she got the call that her father was sick.

And she gets there, and finds out that he is not only sick, but dying. She thought she'd dealt with her father's mortality. When he had cancer, she'd _known_ he was going to die. She'd watched him march toward death for months. She watched him be so sick that death looked merciful. She thought she was ready to see him die then, and that was before they saved the world together and took a motorcycle trip together. They'd stolen time, with crazily impossible alien technology.

But death is never easy. She found that this one stung just as much as her mother's. She now understands that all deaths come too soon.

Then she has to go and tell Pete she can't marry him. Because even if she can't have Jack, she would rather have no one, than a man she doesn't love. And it's hard to break the heart of a good man.

Yeah, it's been one hell of a month.

Sam sank onto her couch. She didn't have any energy left for anything. Not to change out of her BDUs into pajamas, not to make herself supper, not even to brush her teeth. She was just going to lay there on the couch until tomorrow when she has to get up, and work on the plans for her father's funeral. She should also make some calls about the wedding that was going to happen. If she had the energy, which she probably didn't.

And then there was a knock at the door. She opens it up to revel Jack, carrying two paper bags.

"Sir, I'm not sure I'm feeling up to company," she mutters.

"Aw, come on, Carter. I brought jello, beer, and ice cream," he says.

She laughs, "I don't eat ice cream."

"I know, but I thought this might qualify as an exception."

Suddenly tears start streaming down her face. He pulls her into a hug, pausing only to put away the ice cream and beer, before pulling her back onto the couch.

"Sir?" she asks, as he sits on the couch.

"Did you not hear me say 'always'?" he asks, sitting next to her and putting an arm around her.

"It's just so much…" she trails off.

"I know," he says.

"I mean, Daniel, my father, Pete…"

"What happened to Pete?" he asks, pulling away, surprised.

"I broke off my wedding," she says, looking down, ashamed. He's going to know he's the reason. He's going to think she expects something. But her ending it with Pete was far more about Pete than Jack. She had realized how cruel it was to pretend with him. Usually Jack hides his emotions, but this time a wide smile crosses his face. He pulls her closer to him so both of their sides are flush against one another.

She pulls away and looks at him in surprise, "Sir, I don't think Kerri would be comfortable with you…" she stammers awkwardly.

"Ah, Kerri doesn't care what I do anymore," he says.

"Oh?" she asks.

"We're done," he says.

A grin crosses Sam's face.

Her father's words reverberate in her skull, "Don't let the rules stand in your way."

"Sir, I want to go fishing." she says firmly.

"What?" he asks in shock.

She turns from confidant to bashful in a split second, "I'm sorry, you haven't asked me in a while. I don't know if… I shouldn't invite myself to your cabin."

"No, that's fine. Mi cabin is su cabin. I just figured you'd be busy for a bit," he says gently.

"I didn't mean right away. I was thinking after the funeral. I just feel like I need to get away," she says.

His face falls a little. Of course that's what she meant. She wasn't using fishing as a metaphor.

"And I want to take some advice my dad gave me before he died," she adds.

"What was that?" he asks.

She links his hand with hers. She searches his eyes rather frantically trying to figure out if he's ok with it.

"Carter?" he asks.

"Sir," she says, "At first, we were waiting. And then I couldn't wait any more, so… Pete. And now that Pete is out of the way, I still don't want to wait." She hopes it is both clear enough to be impossible to misunderstand, and ambiguous enough to keep her from court martial if he isn't willing to open that door.

Not that she really thought the Colonel would court martial her. Probably not even if she did something to really deserve it. Like shoot him. He'd just assume she had a damn good reason, and offer to help her with the paperwork as he bled out on the floor.

He swallows so hard that his Adam's apple goes up and down. "I don't want to wait any more, either."

She smiles, and he feels her whole body relax beside her.

"What does this mean?" Jack asks her.

"I hope there can be more of this," she says, squeezing his hand.

"Right, but what are we doing professionally? Should I retire from the Air Force, and go civilian, should I just plain retire, is one of us going to transfer, or are you going to be a civilian scientist, are we just going to break the rules?"

"Wow, you've thought about this," she says.

"You haven't?" he asks, looking wounded.

She knows simple words won't be enough to erase the doubt. So she gets up, and walks into her study. She pulls out a resignation letter, and places it on Jack's lap.

He picks it up and reads it. A grin sneaks onto his face. "How long have you had this, Carter?"

"Seven years."

"C'mere," he says, and she sits down beside him. She never feels so safe as when she is enveloped in his hug. "I don't want to risk your career," he says.

"I don't want to end yours," she says.

"So that leaves us with reassignment," he says.

"Jack, I don't want the world to end because we decided we couldn't wait. I don't think either of us is done with the SGC."

"If we do this, with our current jobs," he says with a deep breath, "And we get caught, it will probably be your career that's hurt."

"I don't care," she says leaning her head against his shoulder.

"This isn't just because it's been a hell of a month is it Carter? I mean, you're not going to change your mind when everything settles down?

"No," she says with absolute assurance. More assurance than she uses even when she is talking about science.

"Carter, are you really sure you want a beat-up old soldier? You know you could do better."

"You're the only one that I want," she tells him. "And I really need it to begin now. I need… something good, right now."

He pulls away from her, and turns toward her on the couch. He leans so close that their faces are only an inch apart. He holds it there, and holds it there, until she can't take it anymore, and bridges the last gap between them.

His mouth is smirking as their lips meet, and hers quickly moves to match it. It's soft and romantic, and ends with a laugh.

"You're a tease," she says, putting her hand on his cheek.

"Says the woman who once walked into the locker room wearing this cute little tank top…"

She smacks his shoulder playfully.

"So you really want to go fishing?" he asks.

She nods.

"I mean, we could do something you actually wanted to do."

"I actually really want to see your cabin," she says, "Unless you don't want me to," she says with furrowed eyebrows.

"No, I want you to see the cabin. I just worry about your getting bored," he says.

"Well, then we could do this," she says, leaning in to a kissable distance and teasing him with the wait. He takes bottom lip between hers, and tugs at it a bit before pulling his head back just an inch. She snakes a hand behind his head to intertwine with his short gray hair, and to hold him still. But she doesn't close the gap for a kiss. This time she is going to wait him out. It's a long wait, but he finally gives in and kisses her.

She finds that she doesn't mind waiting, as long as she is sure there is something to wait for.


	2. Weaving

Once she let Jack in to her house, there was no way he was ever going to leave. He convinced her to eat. He started her out easy, with jello and beer, and worked it up to the first real meal she'd had in weeks.

Then he'd tucked her into bed, and went to sleep on her couch.

She woke up much later than she'd meant to. Close to ten o'clock the next day, she found him on the phone with her obsessively organized notebook of numbers and appointments before her, like he'd been since 7:00am. He'd already done a bunch of things she'd never even thought of. He'd ordered her father's death certificates, and arranged a Tok'ra ceremony (minus the throwing the body into the kwosh, he was very anti-kwosh) before the Earth one. He'd also made an appointment with the funeral director to plan the Earth funeral. He also planned a wake afterward at his own house.

He was about to start canceling the wedding plans, but that felt… weird.

He turns around, and there she is. Standing in the rumpled clothes from last night. Her eyes were red and large and puffy.

"Breakfast?" he asks.

"I think at this point we might as well call it lunch," she says.

"You wish is my command," he says, "Provided it can be made out of your meager supplies. This is something I don't miss about being on a front-line team. I can keep groceries around now."

"Toast," she says, pulling some out of the freezer and putting it in her toaster. He reaches into the fridge to grab her jelly, and into her drawer to grab a knife.

He doesn't search for peanut butter, because he knows she hates it. Pete usually forgot and smeared it all over her toast before she could protest. When he did remember, he would try to convince her that there was nothing worse than toast without peanut butter, which just goes to show you he didn't spend a whole lot of time with Goa'uld.

There is no fumbling, he knows where everything is. He's only been at her house a couple of times for team nights, but he didn't forget where she kept anything. Pete had spent the night dozens of times, and he always had to ask where she kept things.

"I made an appointment with the funeral director for two, will that work?" he asks.

"Yeah," she mutters, "You'll come?"

"You need to get this through your thick skull a-l-w-a-y-s," he says slowly.

She hugs him.

The toast pops up, and he covers it with jelly before putting it in front of her on the island. She really doesn't want to eat anything, but he's staring at her so he does.

"I'm going to go get ready for the day," she says after she's eaten the last bite.

"You want me to start on this?" Jack says, gesturing to the page of wedding stuff.

Just by looking at this he could have told her that something was wrong. Sara had a hell of a lot more than one notebook page of plans before their wedding.

"To be honest, Pete was doing most of the wedding planning. Mostly I just have to tell the people that are close to me that the wedding is off. And with my dad dead and Daniel missing, and you knowing…"

"I'll tell Teal'c and General Hammond. Since I've never had a conversation with your brother, you should probably handle that one."

"And Walter, he'll… spread it around the base discreetly," she says.

"Don't worry about it," Jack says softly, encouraging her.

"How could I let it get this far? I'm so stupid," she sobs.

"There are a lot of people who take it farther. Who take it all the way to the fifth anniversary," he says.

Her heart clenches. That's what he thought he was going to have to deal with - her being married to Pete forever.

"I'll never do this to you again," she promises, reaching toward him for a hug.

"It's ok, Carter."

"I'm going to get ready," she says, standing near him for just an extra second.

After she disappears into the bathroom, Jack picks up the phone.

"Colonel Carter, do you require my presents as you grieve?" Teal'c says.

"Ah, actually, it's Jack."

"You are contacting me using Colonel Carter's phone identification number."

"Yeah, I came over to check on her."

"Is it not early in the morning?"

Jack sighs, "Look, Sam wanted me to tell you that her wedding is off."

Teal'c might not actually grin that often, but Jack can FEEL the grin through the phone.

"I would like to offer my congratulations."

"You're supposed to do that when people get engaged, not when they get… unengaged," Jack stammers.

"I think this might be an exception to that social convention," Teal'c says.

"Well, I'd better go, there are more calls to make," Jack says.

"You will take care of Colonel Carter," Teal'c says firmly.

"Yeah, I'm helping as much as you can with grief."

"You will take care of Colonel Carter," Teal'c repeats.

Jack can't remember ever being intimidated by a 'don't hurt her or die' speech, but if anyone can intimidate him, it's certainly going to be Teal'c.

His next call is Walter. "Holding down the fort all right?"

"Sir, you do actually know that I am not in charge of this place when you are gone, right? I am missing quite a few ranks for that job."

"I know that you aren't officially in charge of the place. But you do know that you are really in charge even when I am there."

"Everything is fine here, sir. How is Colonel Carter?"

"What makes you think I would know?"

"You called me from her phone, sir."

"When is the last time you missed something?" Jack asks.

"The time they stole the 'Gate from under my nose, sir."

"Ah, Walter, that was years ago, don't be so hard on myself."

"So, Colonel Carter?"

"She is doing all right. She… called off her wedding."

Silence.

"She wants everyone to know quietly, I was hoping that you could take care of this."

"Understood, Sir."

"And I was hoping that's as far as the rumor would go. That the, uh… reason she called it off wouldn't make it into the rumor mill,"

"Of course, sir," Walter says, sounding offended.

"Thank you, Walter."

"Sir, may I just say it is about time," Walter says.

"Thank you, Walter, I quite agree."

-0-0-0-

With every crisp crease of the flag, and every note of taps, Sam is unraveling.

With every squeeze of the shoulder with his big callused hand, with the lean of his head, Sam is being woven back together.

She stands to receive the flag into her hands.

The eulogies begin. Hammond is up first. He tells a story about her dad when they were cadets. Then he says something cryptic about Jacob serving the world. It's something that the SGC contingent in the room understands, but which no one else does.

Now it's her turn. She gets up to speak, but nothing comes out of her mouth. She feels like she is choking to death. Jack gets up and rushes to her side.

She was hoping that just his presence would fix it, but it didn't.

"Jacob was a good man," Jack says, tilting the microphone away from her, "A really good man. You could put him in an absolute snake den, and he would stay a good man." Most of the SGC contingent manage to stifle their laughter.

"He was courageous, and kind, and wise. And in the end he gave up his life for others. But that's not even my favorite part about Jacob Carter. He was a damn good father."

Sam nods her head through the tears streaming down his face. He puts an arm around her, and ushers her back to their seat.

-0-0-0-

"Sir," she says softly, "I think we need to talk about…"

For the first second he thought she wanted to have the "us" talk at work. Then he realized that it was about Daniel.

"He's not dead," he says. She's had enough death to worry about lately.

"Sir," she protests.

"I'm not having a funeral for him when he's not dead."

She nods her head, but he knows she doesn't believe him. Maybe they should just have the funeral. Maybe she needed closure. But he was really quite sure that Daniel wasn't dead.

-0-0-0-

Sam's so excited. Daniel is actually alive! The flag wrapped around his body, while not being an American flag, reminded her of the triangle she'd received at her father's funeral.

She likes flags around live friends better than flags covering caskets of dead family.

"So you have your typical 'back from the dead' week-long leave," Jack tells Daniel.

"Great! You know… You invited me up to the cabin a whole bunch of times. I was wondering if we could go fishing over this leave," Daniel says.

"You want to go fishing?" Jack asks in surprise. Daniel also detects a hint of disappointment, and he isn't sure why. He's trying not to be offended by it.

"I would also like to accompany you," Teal'c says.

"But you hate fishing," Jack reminds him.

"Yes, but I feel as though our team should bond. Colonel Carter, will you be accompanying us as well?" Teal'c asks.

"Uh… yeah," Sam replies. Jack looks over at her, trying to figure out why she isn't as disappointed as he is. Then she realizes that she's just so happy that Daniel's alive. She wants to spend time with her team. And he isn't going to begrudge her that. It's not like he really thought they would be going "fishing" this early anyway.

"Look, if you don't want us to come," Daniel says, confused by the delay.

"No, not at all, we're all going to go fishing," Jack says.

Sam snorts.

He glares at her.

She keeps a comment about a fishing pole under wraps.


	3. Serindipodous

"Jack, there are only three rooms," Daniel points out.

"Yeah, I'll take the couch," Jack says, a little bit too quickly.

Daniel raises his eyebrows, "I don't have to play rock paper scissors, or box, or promise you to do something that I really don't want to do?"

"Nope, you can have the guest bed," Jack says.

"Why?" Daniel asks.

Sam is grinning, "Yeah, why?"

"Because it's my cabin, and I get to be a good host," he says in frustration.

"Ok, night," Daniel says, standing before the door to the room that used to be Charlie's, but not going in.

Jack stands in the hallway.

"Night," Sam says, going into her bedroom with a giggle. She has long ago given up them fooling their friends.

Jack slowly says, "Well, I'd better go get some clothes out of my bedroom."

"Really Jack, you leave clothes in your cabin, even though you packed a bag?" Daniel says, his grin growing.

"Daniel?" Jack says.

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

Jack is sort of relieved that he didn't actually have to tell Daniel about the change in their relationship. That would require him to actually define it, something he wasn't sure he could do right now. But Daniel had picked up on the change, whatever it was, on the car ride up to the cabin.

-0-0-0-

Sam is laughing when Jack finally shuts the door. He wraps his arms around her, and gives her a passionate kiss. Then he pulls away, and heads toward the door.

"Where are you going?" she asks.

"To the couch," he says, as if she were dense.

"I thought that was for Daniel's benefit," she says, and he is surprised by how intensely disappointed she looks.

"I want to give you space," he says, "I mean… you've had a tough week; I didn't want to assume…"

She pulls him into another kiss, and starts angling him toward the bed.

"Wow, Carter," he says with a huge grin, as she pushes him onto the bed.

"Hey, I told you I wanted to go fishing. You came up with the metaphor; you think you could recognize it," she says, crawling into bed on top of him.

Suddenly she pulls back. He involuntarily reached out a hand to pull her closer toward him.

"Crap, I forgot!" she mutters.

"What?" he asks, stroking her hair away from her face.

"I stopped taking birth control a while ago," she says.

His pulls away from her. She was going to try to have a baby with the man?

She studies his face, trying to figure out why he suddenly looks so distraught.

"I mean once I knew I couldn't marry him, and that we weren't going to be together anymore... I didn't see the point. I didn't dare hope I'd be with you," she says.

He breathes a sigh of relief, "So you weren't trying to have a baby with Pete?"

"God, no," she says with a laugh, "I was going to… get something before I left, but I forgot. Since you didn't think this was going to happen, I'm guessing you don't have anything."

"Ah… just a second, Carter," he says, turning to dig in a dresser. "Found them!" he says, turning around, holding a box of condoms in his hand.

"Ok then, let's go fishing," she says taking a step toward him.

-0-0-0-

This is not the way that he wanted to wake up. Condoms thrown in his face. Thankfully they are still in the wrappers, not the ones that they actually _used._

"Were you _trying _to get me pregnant?" she hisses.

"Um… no, hence the condoms," he replies.

"You mean the condoms that expired a _decade_ ago?"

"Condoms expire?"

"God, you _are_ the idiot you pretend to be!" she exclaims falling down on the bed in exasperation.

He's a little offended, but she looks like she's going to cry. And she might be pregnant, and that would definitely be his fault.

"I'm sorry," he says.

"You're sorry," she says, and he can tell she doesn't think it's enough.

"I really didn't know. I would never try to get you pregnant without your consent. I know your career is important to you," he says.

She nods her head.

"And you probably aren't. I mean, Sara and I tried for four years for Charlie, and six years after."

She gives him a look of sympathy, before sighing and saying, "And a woman usually can't get pregnant right after going off the pill. You're right, we're probably fine. But you _are_ going to have to secure some provisions if there will be any more fishing."

"Not a problem," he says.

"So, there is some good fishing in your pond," she says.

Ah, double innuendo flirting. He could do this, "I believe it was your pond, and yes, very good fishing."

She giggles, "And the size of that fish."

"And the mountain view was pretty amazing," he smirks, taking in another look that view.

"Well, I have to admit that your mountain scaling technique was pretty interesting," she says, leaning against him.

Jack gives her a quick kiss before he pulls his clothes off the floor, and puts them on. He hears noise out in the kitchen. Daniel is making eggs.

"This kitchen is almost as empty as your kitchen at home," he points out.

"Yeah, well, I need to make a trip to town today anyway," Jack mutters.

"The couch wasn't slept on," Daniels says with a smirk.

"Leave it, Daniel," Jack warns.

"I think it's a good thing," Daniel says with a shrug.

"It's against the rules," Jack mutters.

"You've saved the world a couple of times by not following rules," Daniel points out.

"We aren't exactly saving the world," Jack says.

"No, but you deserves this. You deserve to be happy," Daniel says.

"Thanks, bud. You do to," he says, looking at his friend intensely for several seconds. "I assume you know that what happens in the cabin stays in the cabin."

"Of course, Jack," Daniel says, going back to his cooking. Jack walks over to the coffee maker, and starts making coffee.

"You know Jack, I think of Sam like a sister," Daniel says.

"Ok," Jack says, uncertain of where this conversation is going.

"Jacob isn't around anymore," he says. Jack's face falls at this, and Daniel finds himself wishing he never brought it up. "I'm just saying if you hurt her…"

"You're trying to threaten me?" Jack asks with a laugh. "That's sweet, but…"

"What?" Daniel says insulted.

"Teal'c already covered that - more effectively, might I add. And Sam has a much better chance of beating me up than you do," he says.

"Why exactly should I beat you up?" Sam asks.

"No reason," he says quickly, "Besides I said you had a _chance_ of betting me up. It's not a guarantee."

"Oh, I would definitely win, Sir," Sam says.

"Really, Carter, you're going to be so sure about that?" he says with a raised eyebrow.

"Jack, based on the events of last night, I can safely conclude…"

"Whoa! Sam!" Daniel says, "I may approve of your selective rule-breaking, but I don't want to hear about it."

"And what makes you think I didn't want you to win?" Jack says.

"Ew," Daniel says, "If you keep this up, I'm going to remove my blessing."

"You gave your blessing?" Sam asks cheerily, at the same time Jack says, "Oh, I'm scared."

Teal'c walks into the room looking severely annoyed, and tired.

"What's wrong Teal'c?" Jack asks.

"I did not sleep well last night," he mutters.

Sam suddenly remembers that Jaffa have enhanced hearing, and hopes that she is not responsible for his lack of sleep. She thought they were quiet.

Jack has the same idea and says carefully, "Why?"

"Your bed is considerably shorter than the ones at the SGC," he states.

"You're lucky you didn't have the kid bed!" Daniel exclaims. Jack tries to do the math on how much of a six foot anthropologist can fit on Charlie's kid bed.

"We should consider ourselves lucky that we did not have to a sleep on the couch like O'Neill," Teal'c says to Daniel.

"At what point did he everything out of his mouth become a joke?" Sam asks.

"I think it was somewhere between Oprah and wild equines," Jack says.

"Indeed," Teal'c says with a quirk of a smile that comes to his face much easier since he traded his symbiote for a shot.

"Teal'c you know that Jack and I are together?" Sam asks.

He nods his head.

"Are you ok with it?" she asks.

"I have long felt that you were well suited for each other," he says.

"You won't tell anyone at base, right?" Sam asks.

"Are you serious, Carter, you're worried about _Teal'c_ talking too much?" he says.

She smiles at him calling her Carter. She always thought that if they ever got together she'd want him to start calling him Sam. And she does, sometimes. But other times, the word 'Carter' gives her a thrill like no other word said by a man to her ever has.

"You're right, what was I thinking," she says as she goes over, and grabs mugs out of the cupboard and pours the coffee into them, passing them out of the boys. As she hands Jack his he gives her a quick kiss.

She loves that little kiss. It's so stunningly intimate, without being even slightly sexual. It's the kind of a kiss a husband and wife share. Unassuming, undemanding, full of love. It makes her feel like her being with Jack is the most natural thing in the world.

No one has ever kissed her like that.


	4. The Elephant in the House

"Is there something wrong?" Jack says sitting on the couch next to Sam. He might as well not have phrased it as a question. He is absolutely certain that something is wrong. Things have been good since they got back to Colorado. For three weeks, they've spent almost every waking moment with each other, at work or at home.

She'd disappeared for the afternoon. Not that he begrudged her the private time. He was grateful for every moment that he got with her. He wasn't crazy enough to think he deserved any of it. But he was worried about how fast her mood changed.

"I'm taking care of it," she says, leaning against him.

"Need my help?" he asks.

"I just need to know that you'd love me no matter what."

He looks at her quizzically. "Always."

-0-0-0-

"You're sure?" the doctor asks.

Sam nods, refusing to look at the doctor.

"Is the father not going to be involved?"

She shook her head.

"You want to hear the heartbeat?"

"Please no, I just want the appointment," Sam pleads, stopping the doctor's hand before it reaches the monitor.

The doctor nods.

As soon as Sam's alone in her car, she sobs uncontrollably. She doesn't want to do it, but she doesn't have a choice. If she has this baby, it's all over.

Her career will be over. She's having a baby with her commanding officer.

And things between her and Jack will change, too. It's not that she thinks he'd leave her. She knows he'd 'do the right thing'. But she's afraid that is all it would be. There would no longer be the easy, playful, can't-see-enough-of-each-other relationship. They'd be bound together forever, and she's not sure he'd forgive her for ruining his career.

Of course, he'd never forgive her if he ever found out she was planning on killing his baby. But she's hoping he isn't going to find out.

-0-0-0-

Daniel is used to Jack showing up in his lab unannounced. He's not used to him sitting silent and still. It turns out that that is even more unnerving than when Jack is loud and full of motion.

"What?" Daniel asks annoyed.

"You and Carter talk a lot, right?"

Daniel laughs, "I'm pretty sure that she talks to you a whole lot more than she talks to me."

Jack bites his lip.

Daniel turns to him suddenly concerned, "Is something wrong with Sam?"

Jack shrugs.

Daniel turns to face him, "What's going on?"

"I don't know," Jack says, "It just seems like… she's not in this anymore. Like she changed her mind. She's still with me as much as she used to be, but… it's like her mind is somewhere else. I was just wondering if you know what I did to screw it up."

"Why do you assume that you are the one that messed it up?"

Jack shrugs again, "I'm always the one that messes it up."

"Look, Jack. You can talk to me anytime. But I really think you need to ask Sam."

Jack nods his head, but he looks terrified.

"Why are you scared to talk to Sam?" Daniel asks.

"What if this is it? What it's over, and she just doesn't want to tell me? What if when I ask her to talk it's all over?"

"Jack, she loves you," Daniel says.

"Maybe it takes more than that," he says, dragging his broken heart out of the room.

-0-0-0-

"Sam," he says as he comes home. She left work on him, which was weird for her. Or, this had been weird for her. Now she would leave work if it meant avoiding him. He didn't really expect her to be in his house. He hardly saw her in the last two weeks.

He goes in his room to change out of his uniform, and is startled by a sob coming from his bed. He flicks on the light.

"Sam?" he asks in surprise.

"I'm sorry," she says.

He crawls into bed next to her, not even bothering to take off his shoes. "What's wrong?" he asks, wrapping her in a hug.

"I couldn't do it. I couldn't do that to you."

"Ok, what couldn't you do?"

"I couldn't murder it."

He's confused by her words. "Murder" implies she's talking about a human. "It" implies non-human. Less than that non-humanoid. And if she was talking about a non-humanoid it would be work related, and he'd know about it.

"Who?" he asks.

"Your baby," she says.

His stomach churns, and memories of his dead son comes to mind. But he tries to focus on the 'couldn't' and not show her how repulsed he is.

"You're pregnant?" he asks.

She nods, "Damn expired condom."

He wants to apologize, but he can't apologize. Not now that there is a real baby. He's going to be a father. And he's not sorry.

He rubs her back.

"I… had an appointment today. It would have been over."

He moves so he can look her in the eyes, "Thank you."

She sobs in his arms.

"What am I going to do, Jack?"

"We," he gently corrects.

She snuggles into his chest.

"I understand if you don't want to be a mom. I'm so unbelievably grateful that you're giving me the chance to be a father. But if you want your involvement to end in the delivery room, I can raise the kid. It's my fault, Sam. I know that. I screwed up. You shouldn't have to pay the price. I mean, biology requires you do for the next nine months, but…"

He holds her in silence for a while. He wonders if he read the situation wrong. She was probably just asking his blessing on an abortion.

But he knows he couldn't give it. He really wants to have a baby. To have Samantha's baby.

"I don't know what I'm going to do, but I'm not killing your baby, and I don't want to be done with us, so..."

He holds her as he cries, "I thought you didn't want us anymore. I thought that before I knew about this baby," he whispers.

"No, I love you… so much. I just couldn't. I felt guilty every time I looked at you."

"I thought I'd lost you," he says with pain in his voice.

"I wasn't sure… this wouldn't destroy us," she says. The uncertainty in her voice tells him that she's still not sure.

"Nothing is going to destroy us," he pleads.

-0-0-0-

She loves waking up in his arms. He isn't gone.

Neither is the baby.

Baby.

She moves her hand slowly to her stomach, and begins to really think about the baby for the first time. The baby is ten weeks old. It's got a heartbeat. It's got brainwaves. It's Jack's.

She opens her eyes and Jack is looking at her. Looking at her guiltily.

"I should have known about the condoms," he whispers.

She knows that he can't apologize. She is ok with that.

"Yesterday, I made an appointment for a check-up," she says.

"I get to come, right?"

She nods.

"I love you, Samantha," he reminds her.

-0-0-0-

It's the first time Sam has let them unmute the baby's heartbeat. This time she wants to hear it.

But she wasn't ready. She starts sobbing. The ultrasound tech excuses herself, and Jack takes her into his arms.

"You won't tell the baby, will you?" she sobs.

"Tell it what?" he asks, rubbing her back.

"That I didn't want her at first. I want her now."

"Oh sweetie, I would never tell her."


	5. Denial

Jack can't believe Sam's ability to ignore her pregnancy.

He bought her vitamins, and she didn't take them. So he started putting them on her plate, and then she took them, wordlessly.

She kept drinking coffee, until he got rid of the coffee, and hid the maker and cups.

He got rid of the alcohol too, even though she made no sign of drinking that. There was no way he was going to take a chance.

For the first couple of weeks after he found out she was pregnant he found ways around sending Sam through the gate. He sent Daniel off with some diplomats and Teal'c off as back-up for a bunch of nerds. But he can't avoid it any more.

Lately he's been having dinner every night with Sam. Actually, Sam has pretty much been living at his house. Not that you'd know it from the look of his house. She wouldn't leave anything overnight. When Daniel comes over for a barbeque, he leaves more evidence than Sam's extended stays.

Jack doesn't want to push it, because he's still afraid she'll spook. It's the same reason he's avoided bringing up missions. But he can't avoid it anymore.

"Sam, SG-1 has a briefing on a mission tomorrow," he says.

"Good, we've been on-world for a long time now," she says.

His jaw drops, "Sam, you can't go off-world."

"Why?" she asks stunned.

He can't believe how deep the denial goes. "Sam, you're having a baby."

"Gate travel is perfectly save for a fetus."

"Fetus?" he asks.

"Yeah, fetus," she says like he's particularly dense.

"Sam, and I don't care what gate travel does or doesn't do to the kid. I'm a little more concerned about staff weapon blasts."

"Come on Jack, we don't get shot at that much."

"It doesn't matter, Sam. The Air Force doesn't allow a pregnant woman to be on a front line team," he figures if he makes it less personal, this might help his case. Let the Air Force tell her no instead of him.

"But the Air Force doesn't know," she whispers.

"I know," he says looking at her.

"Right, the father of my child knows. My commanding officer doesn't."

"I hate to break the news to you, Sam, but they are the same people. I can't compartmentalize like that."

"But that was the deal. When we decided to break the frat regs, we were agreeing to be two different people."

"Sam, there was no baby involved then," he says.

"Jack, I can't give up my career right now," she says, standing up and grabbing her coat.

"Sam," he says, trying to grab her arm.

"General," she says pulling from his grasp.

He sinks onto the couch and lays there motionless long after she's left.

He has no idea what he's going to do. He can't let her go through the gate with his baby. He can't be responsible for the loss of another kid. Then again, if he won't let her go through the gate, he might lose the baby and her in a whole other way.

-0-0-0-

"So Daniel, tell us about this planet," Jack says as they sit at the briefing.

"Ah, shouldn't we wait for Sam?" Daniel asks.

"She's not coming to this briefing."

"Why not?" Daniel asks.

"Because she won't be with you on the mission," Jack says.

"Is it wise to have only Daniel Jackson accompany me on this mission, O'Neill?" Teal'c asks.

Daniel glares at him, but Teal'c knows he can't actually take offense. If Daniel were in Teal'c's position he'd say the same thing. He wouldn't really want to go through the gate with only himself.

"No, SG-12 will be backing you up," Jack says.

"Shouldn't they be here than?" Daniel asks.

"We're going to have a separate briefing for them."

"So, you want me to do an hour presentation just for Teal'c, because we know you don't listen, and then do the same thing later for four other people?"

"Yeah, well," Jack stammers.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Sam exclaims as she explodes into the room.

"That's why," Jack mutters, "Sam, can you come into my office and talk about this?"

"See, I thought this was settled last night. But now you have an SG-1 briefing without even telling me? Are you kidding?" she says. Daniel and Teal'c are both glaring at Jack. Great, Jack thinks. Now that his relationship with Sam is blowing up, he's going to need his friends, and they hate him right now.

"Sam, I'm not doing this to hurt you," he says softly.

"And yet," she says, spinning out of the room. Teal'c goes to follow her. Jack figures the pretense of briefing is done now, and retreats to his office.

Daniel knocks on the door. Jack ignores him. Daniel bursts in. "I don't know what happened between Sam and you, but you can't bring it into work like that! You know how sensitive she is about woman's lib stuff. And with good reason. And now you're going to give her another reason to believe men are jerks!"

Daniel looks so disappointed in Jack that Jack can't take it anymore. "She's pregnant," he whispers.

"What?" Daniels says, sitting down.

Jack can't bring himself to repeat himself, especially since he knows that Daniel heard him.

"It's yours, right?" Daniel asks.

Jack's stomach clenches as he thinks about how close it was to _not_ being his kid. "Yeah, it's mine."

"She can't go through the gate when she's pregnant," Daniel says.

"Try telling her that," Jack says.

"What's her plan?" Daniel asks.

Jack shrugs.

"I mean, at some point people are going to see it, right?" Daniel says.

"Soon, she's past her first trimester," Jack says.

"Wow, so this happened right away," Daniel says with raised eyebrows.

"Yeah," Jack says a little bit bashfully. He feels weird taking about his kid's conception with his best friend.

"What's her plan?"

"The hell if I know."

"She hasn't talked about what she's going to do?"

"She seems to be in denial about the whole thing. It's like…she's not even having the baby," he says softly.

"I'm sorry, Jack," Daniel says softly.

"I'm not. I'm having a kid. And that's going to be worth it. Even if…" he shuts his eyes, because he can't actually deal with the thought of losing Sam.

"You have to tell her why sending her through the gate worries you so much."

"And why is that?" Jack asks mockingly.

"Charlie," Daniel says. Jack hadn't put that together until now. It felt a little bit like an excuse, but he also knew there was some truth to it.

"You think I should send her through the gate?" Jack asks.

"No," Daniel says. "But you've got to make it her idea."

Jack takes a deep breath, "Daniel, I…"

"Can't lose her," Daniel finishes for him. "I know."

-0-0-0-

"Major Carter, rest assured, that Daniel Jackson will correct whatever is wrong with Colonel O'Neill," Teal'c says as he walks into her office. "I am hoping it involves extra-terrestrials controlling his body, or else I may be forced to inflict pain on him."

Sam smiles, "Thanks Teal'c, but Jack's right."

"He is denying you access to job opportunities, because you and he have started seeing each other romantically. That is anything but right."

"That's not why he's doing it. He's just protective," she mutters.

"Daniel Jackson and I are more than capable of protecting you, Major Carter. And I have seen you protect yourself more times than I can count. Do not begin to doubt yourself as a soldier just because others doubt your," he says firmly.

She smiles, "It's not me he is trying to protect."

Teal'c's face grows soft, "O'Neill has suffered much loss."

Sam's feels like she's just been punched in her quickly expanding gut, because that is sure as hell true. "That's not what I mean, either. Teal'c, I'm having a baby."

He actually looks surprised. It's the first time that Sam has ever seen the man surprised. Which is saying something, considering what his job is. You could tell him that his teammate was taken over by a computer based life form or that intelligent microbes were using a teammate as a vehicle of communication, or that the freaking crystals were a life force and he'd just look at you with his Jaffa face. If Teal'c came around the corner to see an army of Jaffa, he just fired back, like it was another day at the office. Which, since he started training at age 12, it had been for him.

But this, one of his teammates pregnant with another teammate's baby, this was a genuine surprise.

"I wish to offer my congratulations, but I feel that that would be inappropriate," he says, opening his arms up into a hug.

She falls into them crying, and he holds her for a while. When she pulls away she says, "I know that I can't go through the gate right now. I just… can't give it up. My whole life I've been working toward this, and… I'm not done yet."

"Major Carter, there is no need for you to be done. You must merely take a break."

"I know," she says sullenly. "He wants this kid so bad. But I just can't… help wishing that it had waited, until I was ready for it."

"I think, Major Carter, that the child waited as long as it could. You've already put it off for eight years."

She knows that on some level he's right. And it's not like she never wanted to be a mother. She thought a lot about it when Cassie came around. But she ended up more in an "auntie" roll then, for the same reason she wasn't quite ready for this kid. She wasn't ready to give up SG-1. But that had been eight years ago, and Teal'c was right; she didn't have to give it up forever. Jack wasn't on a front line team anymore. If something happened to her, the kid would still have him. Maybe the universe was right, she had to be a mother now.

After all, if she actually waited until she was _ready,_ she would probably wait too long.

"Thanks, Teal'c," she says, taking another short hug before heading back up to Jack's office.

-0-0-0-

As soon as she knocks on the door, Daniel leaves the room quickly. She sits down in the chair across from Jack and they sit silently staring at each other for a while.

"I'm sorry," they both burst out at once. Then they both nod for the other one to continue. Then they both sit in silence for a while.

"Sir, I'd like to temporarily request transfer to the science department," she says.

It's a compromise. One he doesn't particularly like. He'd rather she'd officially be put on maternity stand-down. That way, the Air Force would be limiting her hours and the strenuousness of her workouts. But he knows it's all he's getting right now, and he accepts it with a nod of his head.

"I didn't realize before, what I was asking of you, putting your child at risk," she says, putting a hand protectively over her stomach.

"Well, I knew exactly what I was asking you to do when I told you not to go through the 'gate, and I still did it. So I guess that makes you the better one."

She shakes her head, and takes his hand. They stay like that for a moment before Walter opens the door, "Sir, SG-3 is here for their briefing."

The pull away quickly, and Jack is pretty sure that no-one but Walter saw the moment. But he isn't completely sure. Damn, why did it have to be the marines?


	6. Plan

As beautiful as Samantha Carter is, she spends very little time attempting to look beautiful. Her short hair saved her a lot of time, and she could apply the make-up she wore while her brain solved complex physics equations. Throw in a shower, and some the soft feminine dresses she wore off duty (God, he loved it when Sam looked like a woman) and she was done.

So Jack was rather surprised to see her staring at herself in the mirror. She's standing there wearing underwear, a bra, and a frown.

He stares at her, too, trying to figure out what she's seeing. He tries to figure out how he could communicate what he sees to her. How can he tell her just how freaking amazing she looks? That she is the kind of woman that men might fantasize about after catching a glimpse of in the supermarket or on TV. That she was to him, perfection.

She turns to him, "Am I showing?" she asks nervously.

He suddenly begins to panic. He's not sure how he can get out of this without hurting her feelings.

"Sam, you're not fat," he assure her.

"Yeah, but am I showing?" she asks, turning back to the mirror.

He glances at her stomach. It's still toned, but it's got a tiny wave to it. One you could only see if you were REALLY looking, and she happens to be naked.

"Not with your clothes on," he says honestly.

"But that won't last much longer," she says, "Soon I'll be the shape of a beach ball."

He trains his face not to smirk at that. "Sweetie, you are the most beautiful woman in the universe, and the fact that you're having my baby just adds to that."

"It's not about that," she says, "It's just that they are going to know soon."

"Yeah, Sam, they are," he says, hugging her.

"It's not fair. You're having a baby too, but no one can see it by looking at you! In fact, they're not even going to know. Because if I tell them who the father is, we'll both be in trouble."

"Sam, I'm going to quit, and then you can tell them," he says.

"No, Jack, I just have to adjust."

He fans his hand over her stomach.

-0-0-0-

If she'd found the things laying out in the open, she would have thought he was trying to emotionally manipulate her. But it was never like that.

There was the pacifier she found in a drawer in the bathroom. Next, it was the parenting book that she saw him shoving into his drawer at work when she came in unexpected. At home, he wrapped the dust jacket of cartoon and joke books around the pregnancy books. There was a shopping bag he tried to hide from her when she came home one night. She opened it the next morning when he took his shower and found that it contained a black onesie and green pants. It looked suspiciously like an SG uniform.

The fact was that Jack was really excited about the coming baby, and he felt like he needed to hide it from her. She didn't want him to live like that. So one night, she left work early (ok, on time, though) and stopped by the baby shop on her way home.

She was used to feeling out of place. After her mom died, everyone was out of place in her family. She'd been too smart, and scrappy to fit in in high school. Then she'd joined the military where she'd been 'the girl' for her entire adult life.

But she had never felt that out of place. She really wanted to just run away, and not look back. But she couldn't do that. She had to find something in this shop to bring home. Something she could use to tell Jack it was ok that he wanted this baby.

"Are you ok?" a fellow customer asked.

"Fine," she says with a smile.

The woman gives her a 'you're full of crap' look that reminds her so much of her father that for a second she can't breathe.

"You know, when I found out I was having my first baby I flipped out. Now I have three kids that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world," the woman says.

"I just wanted to get something… baby-like. Just to prove I'm ok with this," she confesses.

"I don't want to offend you sweetie, but you don't actually look like you're ok with this."

Sam smiles, "I'm still a little shocked, but… I'm getting used to it." The words are truer as she says them.

"You need a cute fussy blanket with silky edges," the woman says, leading her down an aisle.

-0-0-0-

"Hey, Sam, you're home early tonight," Jack says from the kitchen, "I forgot, do you hate all peppers or only the spicy ones?"

"I'm really not a fan of any peppers, but I am learning to like new things," she says, walking into the kitchen to give him a kiss.

"No, I'll leave them out."

"I bought something special for you," she says, pushing the bag toward him.

He grins, "Why don't you surprise me when you put it on later."

She laughs, "Yeah, this wouldn't cover much."

He raises his eyebrows.

"And not in a sexy way," she adds pulling it out of the bag, "It's for the baby."

He touches it with the tip of his fingers and examines her face.

"It's ok to be excited about the baby. I'm excited about the baby, too. I mean, I'm also terrified, but I am excited as well," she says.

"In that case, I have some things to show you," he says, quickly going about the house to gather all of the things she'd already noticed, plus more.

-0-0-0-

"Walter!" Jack screams.

The tone makes the Sargent briefly contemplate going AWOL. He could let someone else deal with the cranky General this once.

"Yes, Sir," he says calmly as he stands at his door.

"Who dropped off this paperwork?" he shouts.

"Colonel Carter," Walter says, "It does have her name all over it."

"She wants transfer?" Jack says, and Walter is suddenly horrified, realizing that the General is actually about to cry.

"Sir, I'm sure…" but Walter stops. There isn't anything that can make this better. "Sir, I'm sorry. I'm going to cancel your meetings for a couple hours."

Jack nods. "Can you call Carter up here?" he knows that this is the kind of conversation he should really have with her at home. But if he is going to be anything but useless for the rest of the day he's going to have to have this conversation with her right now.

-0-0-0-

"Sir?" Sam says, quietly closing the door behind her as she enters the office.

"You know, I thought Sara was cold. When I came back from Abydos all of her stuff, all of Charlie's stuff, was just gone. But at least she left me a little note that explained why she was leaving. At least she didn't break up with me in a freaking request for transfer form!"

"Jack, that's not what this is," she says panicked.

"Really, Sam? Because when a girlfriend moves across country without talking to her…" he starts.

Her eyes are tearing up, "Jack, it's just going to be until the baby comes."

His anger melts, "Sam, I know you are too embarrassed to have a baby here."

"Jack, if I moved, we wouldn't be in the same chain of command," she says softly.

He jumps up, "We could get married." Then he starts mentally kicking himself, "I mean… I didn't mean that. Of course, you don't want to…"

"You're usually so much better at figuring out what I want," she practically whispers.

"What?" he asks, stunned.

"I want to marry you. Area 51, that's not far from Las Vegas."

"You want to get married in Las Vegas?" he asks skeptically. That doesn't seem like a very good sign. She wasn't very involved in her wedding with Pete, and that one never happened.

"Jack, I've been engaged twice. I planned… no, my fiancés planned two weddings that I told them I didn't really want to have. I'm not the kind of girl who is all excited about weddings. I never dreamed about then when I was little. I want a marriage, not a wedding."

He smiles at her, "Teal'c and Daniel are going to be there," he says.

"Of course," she says.

"So, you're moving, but we're engaged?" he asks tentatively.

"Yes," she says. It takes everything in them not to break the rule about public displays of affection at work.

-0-0-0-

Daniel pokes his head into Jack's office. Walter is usually a pretty good gatekeeper, but he lets any member of SG-1 in without questions.

"You ok?" he asks. He's confused by the huge grin that Jack is wearing.

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" he asks.

"Sam requested reassignment," Daniel says bluntly.

"Walter!" Jack warns.

Daniel rolls his eyes, "It wasn't him. She had to get the form from somewhere. And the person she got them from was a talkers." Daniel closes the door, "So, I'll ask you again, are you all right?"

"Daniel, I'm great," he says. Daniel is confused by the light in his friend's eyes.

"Did she change her mind?"

"No, Sam's moving to Nevada until the baby comes. But it's all right. I'll visit her. I'm hoping that you and Teal'c can make it up once and a while too."

"Of course, she's our friend," Daniel says, still confused by Jack's calm.

"Good, we've already talked about you and Teal'c being witness to our wedding."

"Hold it," Daniel says, "Different chain of command."

"Yep."

"She's a genius."

"I couldn't agree more, Daniel."


	7. Long Distance

Samantha Carter walks up the steps of her new apartment building. Jack tried to convince her to get a house. She had just sold her house in Colorado Springs, and when she returned in a few months she'd be moving in with Jack - officially. But houses felt permanent, and she didn't want Nevada to feel permanent.

She didn't imagine it would be this hard. But she's already counted off the days between now and her due date; 180. One hundred and eighty times she'd wake up without him by her side. One hundred and eighty lonely dinners. One hundred and eighty breakfasts where she would have to spread her own jam across the toast. And that toast would come from _her_ toaster, his made it crisper.

She continued the list as she unlocked her door, and there inside was the man she'd been thinking about.

"Jack!" she squealed in surprise.

"Hey, Sam," he says.

He runs into one of his amazing hugs. "What are you doing here? You weren't supposed to come for another two weeks."

"That was way too long. I missed you," he says.

"I was just feeling so lonely," she moans into his neck. "Hey," she says, suddenly perking up. "I have a birthing class tonight; you could come. I think they've stopped believing that I actually have a fiancé."

"But you do, and two weeks from now he'll be your husband," he says, giving her a kiss.

-0-0-0-

When Sam said she was going up to her bedroom to change, Jack figured it meant what that usually meant. He figured she was going to take off her BDUs and put on her usual skirt and blouse, or jeans and t-shirt, depending on how much movement she was going to have to do.

The she comes out wearing a maternity dress. She is almost five months along now. After her transfer was approved, she got two weeks of leave for the move. She stayed with him for 11 of those days, and moved just before her work had to start. Two weeks had passed since then, and she'd popped.

She looked pregnant. But more than that, she meant to look pregnant. If she put on a baggy sweater you would never know.

She stands, tentative and unsure, as his eyes wash over her.

"You look amazing, Sammie," he says.

Her eyes lock on his. He's using the word her father used for her. He's the only one that can do that, and only because he knows that he is doing it as he says it. "Do I really?" she asks, biting her lip.

"Yes, pregnancy becomes you. Now that I see how dressed up you are, I'll have to re-think my after-dinner plans. I'd get more dressed up, but this is the best that I have," he apologizes.

"You look fine, Jack. I like you in civvies, particularly jeans," she says, slipping a hand into his back pocket.

He's still a little surprised by this action. He never imagined her to be the physically flirty kind. He supposes there is a good reason for that; she was never physically flirty until she was with him.

-0-0-0-

As they walk into Sam's birthing class, Jack keeps his arm firmly around her waist. It's an act of possession that she would usually resist, but in this case it's actually something that she is glad for.

"Samantha, this is your man?" a young woman asks.

"Yep," Jack says before Sam can condemn the comment for reducing people to belongings. She gives him a quick kiss.

"It's nice to meet you," the woman's husband says, coming up behind his wife.

"Well, I wasn't supposed to show up until the wedding in two weeks, but she couldn't keep me away," he says.

"Ok, everyone sit down with their partners," the teacher says clapping her hands.

Sam opens his mouth in instruct Jack on how to sit, but he's already on the floor with his legs spread apart patting the spot for her to sit. Her stomach sinks as she remember he's done this before.

She takes her seat and he whispers into her ear, "What's wrong, Sam?"

"I just forgot that you've done this before," she whispers back.

She feels his body go tense, and she turns her head toward him with a question in her face.

"I swear to you, I won't let anything happen to this kid. I'm going to watch it… not like Charlie."

"Oh, God, Jack," she says, turning toward him even farther and putting a hand on his check, forcing him to look in her eye, "That's not what I was talking about. It's just, I'm all scared and nervous and new, and you've done this before. You know what you are doing."

"Samantha, you're going to be a wonderful mother," he assures her, settling her tighter against him. He knows that she doesn't really believe him. "You've got the love. The way you love Cassie, the way you love Daniel and Teal'c and me. You're going to have no problem," he assures, her reaching around to rest a hand on her tiny baby bump.

-0-0-0-

Sam rubs her stomach as she and Jack sit down after the class. She's enjoying this perhaps a bit more than she should be. She's never actually got to date Jack before. Sure, they sat next to each other at his cabin, and on the couch, and at the table as they ate take-out or easy meals they could actually handle. But all of this had been done in jeans and… more and more as she got bigger, in sweatpants.

That was very different from getting dressed up, and going out to eat at a fancy restaurant.

"Jack, I was going to mail this tomorrow," she says, handing him an envelope. He opens it to see a sonogram.

"Wow," he says, holding it closer to the light to get a better view in the dim restaurant.

"We never talked about whether or not we wanted to know gender. So, I… said I did. Do you want to know, too?" she asks.

He nods his head.

"It's a girl," she says.

He grins, and she's relieved. She had a boy's name because her father wanted a boy. Sure, he got one three years later, but she'd felt that pressure all of her life. She was actually sort of glad that the pressure had been there. If she hadn't spent so much of her life being treated like a boy, she might never have entered a male-dominated field. But she really wanted this baby to live without expectations.

"We're going to have to figure out a name for our daughter," she says, reaching across the table to take his hand.

He looks away from her, "There are a lot of things that we are going to figure out."

She squeezes his hand, "What's wrong, Jack?"

"I got a job offer," he mutters.

"Aren't those usually good things?" she asks.

He stares at her eyes, "If I take this, when you go back to the SGC, I won't be there. I… I won't take it," he shakes his head.

"Where do they want you to go?" she asks softly.

"DC."

She laughs. He glares. "They want you to be a politician, Jack?"

He nods.

"Do they know about the time that you locked alien diplomats in the VIP room?" she asks.

He isn't laughing.

"Jack, you're going to take it," she says seriously.

"No, Sam, you are more important to me than work," he turns to her, and she sees tears in his eyes.

"You don't have to give up your career to prove that to me Jack."

"Sam, we've waited eight years, I don't want to go waiting for the rest of our lives. I want to retire."

"Jack, if that's what you want, to retire, I am behind you 100 percent. But if you don't want to, we'll figure out a way to make that work. We can alternate her between our houses, or… you could have her most of the time. If I go back to being on a front line team…"

Jack was serious about retiring, but suddenly he knows that that doesn't really matter. Because Sam isn't. He realizes suddenly that he can't have all of Samantha. Not yet, anyway. And he has to be ok with it. And if he's going to wait for her to come back from some alien planet, he can do that in DC just as well as he can do it in the Springs. And if he's going to miss her, he'd better have work to distract himself.

"We'll figure out a way to share her. I can take her all the time if you want. I told you that when I first found out about her."

"Everything has changed since then," she says, covering her stomach, "I've changed since then."

"We'll switch her back and forth. It will be a way to see each other more often. I also got you something," he says, taking a velvet box out of his coat pocket.

"Jack, we shouldn't do an engagement ring. It's almost our wedding, we can wait until then."

"I want you to have this now," he says. He hands her the box, and even before she opens it, she can feel the tingling.

After Jolinar, she didn't know how to make sense of the feeling naquadah gave her. It make her feel nervous and nauseous every time she was near Teal'c or her father or an enemy. It was a reminder of that awful feeling of having no control over her own body.

Then time went by, and she got used to it. It usually didn't mean something awful. It was usually a hug of comfort from a Jaffa teddy bear. It was her father sitting next to her on the couch. It was Teal'c standing guard over her while she slept on a mission.

And then Jack had that incident with Kanan. After that, the strange feeling got a whole new meaning. It got all mixed up with the tingly feeling of her skin whenever they brushed one another. It tangled with the excited churning roller coaster of her stomach. It combined with the love in her mind.

Then, after fishing at the cabin, more things were added the mix. The tingle of naquadah became stronger when they were skin to skin. His heartbeat, the heat between her legs, his breath on her neck, they all became united with the tingling of naquadah.

And holding this ring, even though the box in her hand, she feels all of that. "Jack," she whispers.

"Do you hate it? Is it creepy? I mean, it probably reminds you of torture and things I can't mention in public. I just thought… when I feel that, it…"

"Reminds me of you," she assures him. "It's beyond brilliant. I wish I thought of one for you. Can we still get one for you before the wedding?"

He nods, "Are you going to look at your ring?"

She opens it up, and gasps. He holds it up to the light. "I don't understand…" she says.

"Jonas's home was behind us in a lot of ways. But they'd had a run of very good luck with jewelers."

"But the gem stones, they're actually melted and swirled together, aren't they?"

"I'm not sure exactly how they do it, but something like that."

"This is amazing," she says, turning the ring over. Her brows furrow. "Jack, I'm sorry. I know I should understand the inscription, but…"

"'Always'; it's in Ancient," he says, "I was going to put the address for Earth on it, but I figured that might be a bit of a security breach. I'd hate to be the cause of an off world invasion if you got captured."

She slips it on her finger, and it feels like the moment right after sex, when they are tangled together, and the naquada is flowing through both of their veins. Leaning toward one another.

"Can you write 'together' in Ancient on yours?"

He nods his head.

"This thing won't hurt the baby, will it?" she asks, concerned.

"Nope, and it won't cause a problem with going through the gate either. I looked into both of those things."


	8. Uncommon Intelligence

"Hey, sis," Mark says, giving her a hug in the airport, "Are you going to tell me what this huge surprise that required me to fly to Las Vegas is?"

"I'm getting married," she announces with a grin.

"To…" Mark says tentatively.

Sam rolls her eyes, "The man I've been dating for months now."

He glances at her stomach; she's five and a half months along now. There is no way you can mistake her baby bump for anything but that.

"Sammy, are you…" he stops, looking uncomfortable.

"I'm having a baby," she says.

"Is it Pete's?" Mark asks.

"No," she says angrily.

"Hey," he throws up his hands like a shield, "It's a legitimate question. You were engaged to him six months ago, and how pregnant are you?"

"Five and a half months," she says softly. Her cheeks are aflame, and she finds herself more embarrassed than she ever has before in her life.

"How sure are you that it's not Pete's?" he says quietly. He doesn't want to offend her, but he has to know. "You could be a little bit off. I mean, if you are just marrying this guy because of the kid, you'd better make sure that it's really his kid."

"Look, its Jack's," she says. "And we're not getting married just because this kid. Jack was the reason Pete and I didn't work out."

Her brother's eyebrows hit the ceiling. And airport ceilings are pretty high.

"That didn't come out the way I wanted it to. I broke up with Pete because I was in love with Jack. Jack and I didn't do anything until after Pete, weeks after Pete."

"Are you happy, Sam?" he asks suddenly.

"Yeah, I am," she says. He finds a lie in her eye, and calls her out on it, "I wish I could see him more."

"Neither of you are moving after the wedding?" Mark asks in surprise. He knew that his sister lived in a different state than her boyfriend, but he didn't think that would last after the wedding.

"He is, unfortunately he's moving to Washington D.C."

Mark looks confused.

Sam sighs, "Our jobs are so important. We can't quit quite yet."

"Deep space radar telemetry is that important?" Mark says.

Sam nods her head slowly. Mark knows enough as an Air Force brat not to press it anymore, so he sighs and starts walking toward the exit of the airport.

"Actually, we're waiting for another plane," she says, turning toward the Colorado Springs gate.

Just then the two tall men that he knows as her teammates come running toward them with huge grins on their faces. Well, if her teammates think that this is a good thing, then that is something.

-0-0-0-

Mark holds onto his sister's arm as they walk down the aisle. It's only now that he realizes that this wedding is actually going to happen. He can't really be blamed for his doubt, after all this is his sister's third engagement. But he knows this one is going to stick, because he just saw the groom's face.

He's never seen a look of pure delight like that before. His sister is going to be fine.

-0-0-0-

"Mrs. O'Neill," Jack says, pulling her closer to him in the darkness.

"I didn't take your last name, and it's still Colonel."

Jack laughs, "This is worse than the time I called you doctor when we first met."

"You can call me anything you want," she mutters, uniting his hand with hers. Already she's fallen in love with the electric sensation that happens when they let their rings touch.

"Ok, babe," he says with a smirk.

"Yeah, except for that one."

"Baby?" he teases.

She leans forward to capture his mouth in a kiss.

"It's going to take more than that to distract me, Snookums."

"That can be arranged, husband," she says.

-0-0-0-

"Jack, I think I have a good time for you to fly out here for the baby," Sam says over the phone.

He rolls his eyes. He knows that Sam is missing him. She's incredibly pregnant, and uncomfortable, and newly married, and missing him. But he's not about to fly out there when he's going to be coming her way for a whole month right after the baby is born. He doesn't want to waste a second of his leave on pre-baby time.

"Sam, I'm going to be there soon. I'll come right before your due date."

Suddenly, an inhuman grunt comes out of Sam. He's heard that sound before.

"Sam, are you in labor?" he asks. Walter at the nearby desk spring into action before waiting for Sam to respond.

"Yes, you idiot!" she shouts.

"Oh, Sammy, I'm coming as fast as I can. You've got to hang up now and call an ambulance to get you to the hospital."

"I'm already here, a neighbor drove me," she grunts out.

"Ok, how far along are you?" he asks a touch frantically.

"Get your ass here!" she responds.

"I know sweetie, I'm on my way. I'm going to be there as soon as I can be. I just wanted to know how close you were before I left."

"They say it could be hours, but Jack, I can't do hours of this. I would die first," she says nearly in tears.

It's hard for him to hear her like this. Big strong brave Samantha pleading for mercy. It's even worse that he isn't by her side right now. He needs to be by her side.

"I'll tell the airplane to speed," he assures her.

He hears a giggle at the other end of the phone.

0-0-0-

She's curled up on her side as he enters the hospital room. He slowly touches her side, and she turns to him with tears streaming down her face.

"Sam," he says softly, relieved to see that she still looks pregnant.

"I can't do this," she tells him.

"Of course you can. You've felt worse pain than this."

She looks at him as if she was completely confused, "That's not what I can't do."

She looks so vulnerable that his heart shatters into a million places. He moves over to the side of the bed that is closest to the wall, and crouches down in front of her. "Samantha Carter, you care going to be an amazing mom."

She shakes her head at him. He takes her head gently in his hands, "I've seen you with Cassie. I've seen you with your nephew, and your niece. I know that you are going to be amazing."

"What if I'm not?" she asks panicked.

"I'm not even going to think about that, because it's not going to happen," Jack says.

"What if I can't do it?" she says, grabbing onto his arm.

"Sam, you're not in this alone. I am going to be there for you and this baby. If you can't do it, I will. I told you that from the very beginning. You don't have to be a mother unless you actually want to be one."

She smiles at him for a second, before letting out a primal cry, "Jack, the baby is coming."

"I know that," he says.

"I mean NOW," she says firmly.

"Ah, no," he says, shaking his head, "They put you in a different room before that happens," he informs her.

She grabs his hand, and directs it toward the baby which is certainly crowing.

He stifles his inner panic. He reaches over to press the nurse button, and positions his other hand to receive the baby.

"You can do this sweetheart," he tells her.

"Doctor," she says with sweet on the corners of her forehead.

"Someone is coming," he promises her.

"I have to push Jack," she pleads, "I have to."

"Its ok honey, I've got her," he promises.

A few seconds later his baby girl slides into his hands. A panicked nurse rushes into the room a few seconds later, and goes to fetch a doctor.

"Bring her here," Sam begs.

He puts the bloody baby on his wife, and suddenly her face transforms. He watches the moment she really becomes a mother. He watches as she falls in love with her daughter.

"Jack," she says, grabbing for his hand.

"Yeah, Sammy?" he says, dropping a kiss on both of his girls' foreheads.

"You should have told me it was going to be like this."

"And what words would I have used?" he asks.

"I am going to retire," she says, "There is no way I am going to let this little one out of my sight."

He smiles, but he knows the hormones she's being subjected to mean that this decision isn't permanent.

Sam is crying again now, and this time the tears are not sad.

"Daniel and Teal'c are coming. If you want me to call them and tell them not to…" he hedges, realizing with a shock that this is the sort of thing he should probably have discussed with her before he invited them.

She shakes her head, "She's got to meet her team sometimes."

"They aren't her team, they aren't even our team anymore. In fact, there is no team anymore. Daniel is heading to Atlantis in a couple of weeks, and Teal'c spends more time playing politics on Chulak than he does on Earth now a days."

"You're a pot calling the kettle black with the criticism about moving from SG-1 to politics. And you'd be a fool if you think that SG-1 can be dissolved. We're a team forever."

He smiles at the wisdom of that. He's worked in D.C. for months, and he was "the man" for a year before that, and he still really felt like SG-1 was his team.

"And we are more than a team, we're family," he says.

"Good, because this little girl needs family," she says, looking up with wet eyes.

Jacob.

He should be here right now. He was a part of the reason they'd gotten together. He'd be thrilled. Well, he probably wouldn't like the quick way that she'd entered the world, but he'd be glad she was here.

"I picked a middle name," Jack says.

She locks eyes with him. It's something she'd asked him to do months ago. He'd delayed for so long that she'd given up hope of him ever doing it, and had selected one herself.

"Carter, after your father," he says.

She should hate it. It's masculine. She swore that if she ever had a daughter, her daughter would never have to deal with a boyish name like the one that she grew up with.

But she loves it. It's the name that Jack called her all those years when he couldn't call her the things he whispers into her ears when she is falling asleep late at night. It's the name her father carried. And it's masculine. Like the name her father gave her.

"I love it," she says.

"Does it go with the first name?" he asks.

Sam picked the name out when she was only six months along, but she still hasn't revealed the name to anyone, not even her husband.

"Madeline?" she asks softly.

"Hello, Madie girl," Jack says to his daughter.

Madi tries to flail her arms, but she is wrapped so tightly that the only result is a slight bulge in the blanket.

Jack frowns, and unwraps his daughter.

"The nurses said…" Sam begins a protest.

"She needs to figure out what her hands are for. She needs to figure it out soon if she is ever going to get to be as smart as her mommy," he says. But he still pauses and waits for Sam's vote. Sam nods her head, and he finishes unwrapping his daughter.

Sam raises her knees up before her, and carefully places the baby on them. "Now, I can see you, and you can see me," she coos to the baby.

"Well, she can't really, honey," Jack says offering his finger to the baby. She grabs it in her tiny fist, and he shakes it ever so slightly to give his daughter her first post-womb challenge.

Sam looks at her husband with a touch of panic, "She's not blind."

"No," Jack assures her quickly, "She has the same bad eyesight as every newborn. She's never had a chance to practice her eyesight. You have to hold her close, like this," he takes the baby and holds her to his chest, "If you want her to see you."

"I should have read books," she says with regret, "I just thought anyone with intelligence could take care of a baby."

"Oh, you'll be fine," Jack assures her.

"I don't know all the things that you are supposed to know," she says hesitantly, "Maybe the baby should stay with you."

"All she need is love," Jack assures, her handing the baby back to her. Sam holds the child close to her chest, and smiles at her.

"I've got that."

"In spades," Jack says with a smile.

-0-0-0-

You would think that men who could sneak up on a valley full of Jaffa could enter a hospital room without awakening its three occupants. But you would be wrong.

Sam and Jack both heard the sound of a Jaffa and an anthropologist running down the hallway. Each one peeled a single war weary eye toward the sound. Since it was no threat, but was indeed their Jaffa and they anthropologist, they made no motion to defend themselves.

Madi, however, didn't have the benefit of military training, or familiarity with the two men. She was unaware of the invasion until it was upon her, and then she prepared to defend herself from the threat the only way that she knew how - a loud wail.

The wailing was an ineffective method of defense, although it did make Daniel very nervous.

"You came to meet our daughter," Sam says.

"I hope we're not disturbing you," Daniel says cautiously.

"Family is welcome," she says to him. "Hush, little Madi, this is SG-1, and you can trust SG-1."

The baby stops crying, and that causes a laugh from everyone, including the usually mirthless Jaffa.

"Samantha Carter, may I have the honor of holding your offspring?" Teal'c asks.

She nods her head, and hands the baby over to him. It doesn't escape her notice that he called her Samantha. He's never done that before. "Captain" and "Doctor" and "Major" and "Colonel", yes, but never "Samantha" until now. He was right, though, that she had never been so much Samantha as she was today.

Daniel looks over Teal'c's considerable shoulders, "She's beautiful, guys," Daniel says in awe.

Madi turns her face toward him, and grins, thereby permanently worming her way in his heart.

"She possesses uncommon intelligence," Teal'c announces.

"How can you know that?" Jack asks mockingly.

"Just look at her parents," Daniel defends.

"I speak not of her heredity," Teal'c corrects, "I speak of her."


	9. Honor

Madi was an uncommonly unneedy child, but Jack coddled her none the less. Sam hadn't mentioned retiring again since the first time she saw her daughter, so Jack didn't hold much stock in her actually meaning it. He was just enjoying his paternity leave, it was almost up now.

He wondered how often he'd get to see his baby girl, and his stomach churned whenever he remembered that they had no specific plans for how often they would share her between them. "You'll remember me though, won't you, baby girl?" he asks her, holding his daughter within her limited range of sight, "You won't forget me?"

"Jack," Sam says from behind him, sounding solemn.

He turns to her surprised, and a little embarrassed. He quickly realizes that her expression and tone have nothing to do with what he was telling his daughter, if she even heard it. "What's wrong?" he asks.

"Cam called," she says.

"That's not the first time," Jack says lightly. He finds it slightly humorous how hard Cam is working to put SG-1 back together. He's pretty sure that there is no SG-1 anymore.

Then he looks at his wife's face, and he is pretty sure that there is an SG-1 again.

"You're going." It's a statement, not a question.

"They need me," he says.

"Of course they do, you're a national treasure," he says, desperately trying to hide his disappointment.

Sam's voice is pleading with him. Trying to justify something which needed no justification in his eyes, "You know I wouldn't go unless they really needed me."

"I know that," he assures her, handing over the baby, having sensed her need to be close to her daughter.

"My maternity leave isn't even up," she whispers in despair.

"You know you don't have to go," he says, pulling her into a hug with their daughter between them.

"The Ori have a supergate," she confesses.

"And there are other people who could get rid of it."

Sam's face was still as stone.

"You don't think there is," he says, and again it isn't a question.

"It really isn't vanity."

"I know that. I trust your ability to accurately assess the situation. Don't worry, just tell us when you'll be getting home, and Madi and I will be here waiting for you."

He looks at her face, and desperately tries to figure out what it means.

"I'm not going to be coming back to Nevada," she says.

"You're going back to SG-1 full time?" He tries to keep the shock out of his voice.

"I'm sorry, I know that I said I was going to retire."

"I get it, new baby brain, I wasn't going to hold you do it."

She shakes her head, "No, that was me. This isn't," she says very slowly.

"I'm sorry, Sammy," he says, "Madi and I will move to the Springs with you."

"No," she says, "I don't want you at home waiting for me, worrying."

"Foolish woman," he whispers, pulling her closer, "I'll be waiting and worrying no matter what state I'm in."

"I know," she says.

"Jacob," he says, realizing how she knows about the worry that he is going to feel.

"I'm sorry," she says, "I know exactly what I am putting you through, and I'm doing it anyway."

"You're not doing anything to me. I choose this."

"She didn't," Sam says, bending down to kiss her daughter.

-0-0-0-

Sam was feeling uncommonly lonely on a Friday afternoon when the doorbell suddenly rings. She held a secret hope that it would be Jack and Madi, but she knew that it was far more likely it was Daniel or Teal'c. She'd take what she could get.

"Pete!" she exclaims in surprise.

He shoves a photograph at her. It's sweaty and wrinkled, but she knows it's her daughter.

"You had a kid," he says.

"Where did you get that?" she asks, trying to reclaim it form him. He snatches it back, and shoves it in the pocket of his jeans. She hates thinking of it there.

"How old is she?" he asks.

Sam laughs. He glares at her. "Jesus, Pete, she's not yours. You don't think I'd tell you if I were having your baby?"

"It's got to be close, Samantha," he insists.

"Not that close."

"Maybe you think you're sure, but…" he says.

"Two weeks, Pete! She was conceived two weeks after the last time we were together!"

He looks into her eyes, "Samantha, please, I've got to know for sure."

-0-0-0-

Jack scoops his daughter off the floor of the day care at Washington D.C. He can't help but notice that she was holding up her head for a whole lot longer than a two month old should be able to do it for. Well, the kid _is_ Sam's, he thinks to himself. So he shouldn't be surprised.

Madi turns her head toward her father, and starts thrashing her hands around frantically.

"Yes, sweetie, Daddy's here," he assures her. He carries her out to his truck, and straps her into the car seat in the back. She gives a whimper as soon as he is out of sight.

"I'm right here, baby girl," he tells her, slamming her car door and opening his own as fast as he can. He doesn't want his daughter to have to go without his voice for very long if he can help it, "How old are you supposed to be before separation anxiety sets in? With Charlie it certainly wasn't this young."

It doesn't matter what he talks about, but he does know that he has to keep talking until he gets back into his daughter's line of sight.

At the end of the ride, he pulls her out of the car seat, and she grins at him.

"I tell you, baby girl, you're cute enough to melt an old soldier's heart, and that's good, because your parents are both old soldiers."

Each time she says the word 'soldier', Madi grabs onto the shiny metals on his uniform.

"Come on, crow," he says gently, "We'll go find you something better than daddy's uniform to play with. You know, you do have toys."

He opens the door, and Sam is in the room. He's talked to her on the phone every night when she's not off world, but she still misses her, and he knows she misses her baby more.

Madi flails her arms frantically, and Jack hands her to her mother.

"You should have told me that you were coming, Samantha, I would have left work early. You could have picked up Madi at day care," he says, hugging her tight and fighting the tears that are coming to his eyes.

"I only got here a few hours ago, and I wanted to make dinner," she says.

"You made dinner?" he asks in surprise, this being an unusually domestic thing for her to do.

"I said I wanted to make you supper, I gave up and ordered pizza."

"That's my Samantha," he says, kissing her, "How long do you have?"

"Four days," she says, and he realizes that no matter how long she said, he would have thought that it wasn't long enough.

"Are you taking Madi with you when you go?" his heart clenches as he asks the question. He can't imagine being separated from his daughter for any length of time, but that was the original deal they had. They were going to switch their daughter back and forth every time they saw each other.

She shakes her head, and snuggles the girl against her so she can plug the girl's ears, "I can't, Jack," she's almost in tears.

"Sam, it's ok. I love having her with me. I'll keep her," he assures her.

"I want her Jack, but… who would watch her in the Springs when I was off world?"

"Sam, I could…"

"General, so help me if you threaten to retire one more time, I am going to follow through on that threat of an arm wrestling match that I made to you when we first met. And I assure you, you won't come out on top."

"So what I'm hearing is that you want to be on top," Jack says with a wink.

"Not in front of the baby," she scolds.

"Ok, baby girl," he says, "Let's get you your dinner so that when the pizza comes we can have ours."

"I'll feed her," Sam says eagerly.

"Right, I'll get the bottle ready."

Jack walks into the kitchen and gasps. The entire floor is covered with shopping bags. He turns to Sam.

"What is this?" he asks.

"It's, ah… child support, I suppose."

"Sam, I take care of her. There is nothing that she needs and doesn't have."

"I know, Jack, it's just… I'm not the one feeding her or changing her or doing anything, and…"

He grabs onto her elbow as she turns away from him, "Sam, you are a member of our family. You're her mother, no matter what."

She just looks at him with puppy dog eyes.

"I get it, Sam. I was where you were… with Charlie. It is really hard to be away from your kid. Especially when they are little. We'll make sure that we use all of the stuff you bought her."

"Most of the stuff that I got was either diapers and formula or for when she was older. I knew that you had stuff for her now," she says apologetically.

"Yeah, but she'll like Mommy's stuff better," he says.

"Mememememe!" Madi shouts.

"What are you saying, little one?" Sam coos to the baby.

The doorbell rings, and Jack goes to get the pizza.

-0-0-0-

Jack stands in the doorway with his arms crossed, looking at his wife reading to their daughter. "Goodnight room, Goodnight moon…"

Madi's fist slams against the moon.

Sam glances up at Jack, who shows no inclination that he's surprised or that he understands the significance.

"Sweetie, can you touch the mittens?" Sam asks.

Jack snorts.

Madi does it.

Sam looks at Jack.

"She didn't," he says, shaking his head and walking forward in order to have a better vantage point.

"Honey, show Daddy the rocking chair."

One fist slams into the book, and the other one touches the arm of the chair that Sam is rocking her in. Sam raises her eyebrows at him.

"Madi," Jack says, "Can you show me the cow?"

Her fist unfurrows and the palm spreads across the picture of the cow jumping over the moon.

"Madi, have you always understood it all?" he asks her.

She looks up at her Daddy and smiles.

He pulls back a little bit.

"What's wrong, Jack?" Sam asks, worried. Jack is always in control. He's always the fearless leader. He is never surprised.

"I was just trying to think of what this little girl might know that I might not have meant to tell her," he says, being both honest and humorous. "I should probably explain that Charlie is your brother, was your brother," he says glancing at Sam. "How do you explain death to a two month old?"

"Jack, I don't think we need to. Being able to identify a few concrete items isn't the same as understanding an abstract conversation," Sam protests.

"Sam, she can relate a word to a picture to a real object. That's pretty advanced understanding."

"But we have no evidence that she has object permanence, let alone comprehends things she's never seen or understands abstract nouns."

"You've been reading child development books," he says with a smile.

"Yeah, well I'm not exactly waking up with crying in the middle of the night," she says guilty.

"Well, sweetie, I am going to let you take care of that for a few days," he tells her.

"She's asleep," Sam says in surprise.

"Yeah, she always falls asleep quiet suddenly," he says.

Sam puts Madi in a crib, and Jack pulls her toward him into the hall, and gives her a passionate kiss. "I missed you," he whispers as he kisses the little indent made by her collarbone.

"God I've missed you, Jack," she says.

"You know," he mutters, "This will be the first time we're together when we're not pregnant," he says pushing against her.

She pulls away, "Except for the first time," she says searching his face.

"Of course."

"Because she is yours, Jack, I promise," she says.

He moves a little hair from her face, "I never doubted it, Sweetie. You would never lie to me about that."

She pulls away a little, "Pete heard about her."

"What?" Jack says, sensing her need for nearness and pulling her close.

Sam relaxes against him, feeling accepted. "He thought she was his. He was so furious at me."

"Sammy, I'm sorry," Jack says.

"It's believable. If she was a month premature she could be his."

"She wasn't," he says. He looks at her worried face, "Was she?"

"Jack, she's yours, but Pete… he wants a DNA test."

"Ok."

"That easy?" she asks.

"Yeah," he says with a shrug.

She starts sobbing, he pulls her closer.

"Hey, Sam, what's going on?" he asks.

"What if he's right?" she asks.

Jack steadies himself for a second, looking like someone struck him. Then he says, "So what?"

"I'm worried the baby you've been single handedly raising might not even be yours and you say so what?" she laughs nervously.

"If you think we'd be done if she wasn't mine, you're nuts. You're not getting rid of me that easily. The only way you're ever getting out of this marriage is if I'm 100% sure that you'd be happier somewhere else. Pete didn't make you happy. You left him for me. So, if you think I give a shit whose DNA that girl carries around you're crazy. I imagine Pete is going to want some sort of visitation if she is his," Jack says.

"I don't know," Sam confesses.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Jack says with alarm. "He doesn't want full custody, does he?"

"I don't think so," Sam says, looking at Jack with concern.

"Well you'd better find out! If there is a chance we could lose her over this, I don't want to do it! It's not worth the risk."

Sam rubs his arms, "We can have Lam do it confidentially. Then if it turns out the way that we want it to, we'll show Pete. Otherwise we never tell him."

"It's not very honest," Jack says.

"I think we should take her to Lam anyway," Sam says, biting her lip. "I do think that she is a little bit too smart."

"Yeah, about that," he says, his face suddenly lighting up, "I think that's pretty good evidence that she is mine."

San raises an eyebrow at what looks to her like bragging.

He shakes his head at her thoughts, "Sammy, I think… well, you know that when hosts have babies…"

"We're not hosts, Jack, and our daughter isn't a harcesis."

"No, but we are both former hosts, and it's possible that that little girl in there is something entirely new."

"Are you telling me that our daughter might know everything we knew when we conceived her?"

Jack nods he head slowly. Sam's breath catches in her chest, "The child development books didn't make any mention of that."


	10. Answers

**Note: I once again underestimated exactly how much the average Stargate fan hates Pete. He really is a good guy. Would you rather he doesn't care that he might have a daughter out there? Any decent guy would want to know. He would want to be involved with his kid. He's trying to take responsibility and be a good dad.**

**And if Pete were the father, Jack would not be out of her life. He is at the very least her step-father. He wouldn't stop loving her. It's just DNA, people, seriously.**

Dr. Lam smiles at the couple in front of her. "You say she understands every word you say?" she asks skeptically.

"Now, I didn't say that," Jack defends.

"We just know for sure that she can identify some concrete nouns," Sam says.

Dr. Lam is quiet proud of the self-control she displayed by not rolling her eyes.

"Test it," Sam demands.

"Ok," Dr. Lam holding the baby up to a diagram of the intestinal system. "Show me the esophagus."

Jack starts to protest that the doctor has given his daughter too hard of a word, but the baby not only points to it, but traces a finger the length of it down, and then back up. Dr. Lam's eyes bulge. "And show me her nose."

The baby reaches up, but finds that she can't reach that far. Lam gives her a boast, and she touches the nose on the pictures as well as Lam's nose.

"Can she read?" Lam asks.

Jack and Sam glance at one another. This is something that neither of them considered. Lam goes over to her desk, and grabs a pad. She writes on it, "sun", and then draws a star, sun, and a moon. She puts it in front of the child, and Madi lets out a giggle before touching the sun.

Jack takes the paper from her. "Have you understood everything since you were born?" And then scrawls a 'yes' and 'no' beneath it. Madi doesn't make a motion to answer. Sam takes the paper and adds the word "before" between 'since' and 'you.'

Madi slaps 'yes' and looks happy to be understood.

Sam bursts into tears, and run out of the room. Jack hands the baby to Dr. Lam, and follows her.

"C'mere," he says in the hallway.

"She knows," Sam sobs falling into his arms.

"What do you think she knows?"

"That I tried to abort her."

"Oh, honey, I don't think she knows that."

"She remembers things from before she was born," Sam protests.

"I know, but back when you were contemplating that, she didn't have ears… or a brain."

"She knows a lot of things that we didn't think it would be possible for her to know."

"I know, but I don't think she knows any of those things from personal experience."

Sam's face crinkles up with a mystery, "Then how exactly do you think she knows these things?"

"I've been thinking about that. I think it might have something to do with the naquadah."

"Well, that is probably a good guess, but it doesn't make sense."

"Sam, when people go through the gate, there is a buffer right?"

She nods.

"And what is the buffer made out of?"

"Actually, that is one of those things that we know nothing about."

"So it could be naquadah? I mean, this mineral could not only store energy but also information."

She stares at him, "You are beyond brilliant."

She rushes back into the room, "Dr. Lam, take a blood sample, and see if the naquada doesn't contain information. That might be an explanation for this."

"Ah, and we actually need to take a blood sample for another reason," Jack says awkwardly.

"And what would that be?" Dr. Lam asks.

"I'll take Madi out in the hall while you explain. I'll come back in a minute for you to take the blood."

As soon as Sam and Madi are in the hall he says, "We need a paternity test. Can you take my blood while they're out?"

Dr. Lam's eyes almost bulge out of her head, but she doesn't say a word.

"I'd appreciate it if this didn't get around base."

"Of course, General," Dr. Lam assures him.

-0-0-0-

"You don't need to be nervous, Jack," Sam assures him as his fingers tap on his knee.

Jack glares at her, "I think if you were in my place, you'd think differently."

"Jack O'Neill, Madi is your daughter. And I'm pretty sure she has your memories."

Madi grabs onto him, "Dadadada, me'y, me'y!"

"You're agreeing with Mommy, little one?" he asks.

"'Ep, ep!" she says.

"You are my little girl," he assures, her having no idea how much of the situation she actually understands.

"I have your test results," Dr. Lam says coming over to them.

"Can someone watch super baby while you tell us about them?" he asks.

She nods her head, and motions a nurse over to do exactly that.

"So what's the news, Doc?" Jack says, trying to suppress his natural nerves.

"Well, the DNA test came back as expected. Jack, you are her father, and Sam you are her mother."

The both try not to laugh at the last part added on. After all, in a place like the SGC, maternity is just as likely to be in question as paternity.

"And the memory?" Sam presses, as she gives her husband's hand a reassuring pat.

"That's a little harder to give you definitive answer on. I think your hunch is probably correct, but it's not the sort of thing you could definitively prove in a few hours of research. Probably a team would need to research it for months."

"You want to turn my daughter into a lab rat?" Jack asks protectively.

"No, although we would like to continue to study the sample of naquada we got form her blood. It does seem to have some binary code, perhaps billions of lines of code."

"How much information could this hold?" Jack asks.

"A lot more information than is in our brains," Sam says.

Dr. Lam nods, "I honestly can't believe we didn't see it before. There is a really good chance that this is the source of the Goa'uld's genetic memory. Infant Goa'uld are chock full of the stuff. Even a few drops would be enough to carry a lifetime of memory. And we know that it is transferred to hosts, which is why hosts who survive Goa'ulds end up remembering more than their own lifespans."

"Ok, does she just have the memories of us, or our… hosts?" Jack asks, biting his cheek to prevent his voice from sounding bitter.

"Honestly, your daughter is probably able to answer that question better than I can."

Jack looks at his wife with terror in his eyes, "Honey, what are we going to do if it turns out that she has the total genetic knowledge of the Goa'uld?" It turns his stomach to think of turning her over to Tok'ra, or worse, some ascended being who would ascend (read kill) his baby girl.

"Jack, she couldn't have the genetic knowledge of the Goa'uld. We don't have Goa'uld in our head. And Tok'ra don't have genetic knowledge. They remember only their own lifespan."

"Ok, so that's better, but I happen to know that the Tok'ra who hung out in both of our heads had some damned distasteful memories in their heads. And they were the bad guy in at least a couple of those."

"I know honey, but it's only a few hundred years of trauma, much better than millions of years," Sam says.

He flinches.

"I'm sorry," she whispers.

Jack clears his throat and looks directly at the doctor, "Is there a psychologist with clearance, who isn't Mackenzie, and who preferably has experience with children."

Sam looks at him in surprise. "Jack?" She was sure that he hated psychologists.

"Sam, the memories that girl got from those Tok'ra. Jesus, the memories she got from either of us, they aren't the kind of thing you get over without therapy."

"You want to put a month-old in therapy?"

"I don't want my daughter to suffer. Charlie alone!" he mutters.

Sam grabs his hand. "Jack, I think we should get her help, but I think we also need to talk to her about it. They are our memories," she says. Jack flinches. She grabs his hand more tightly. "I'm sorry."

"No, you're right. It's just… she knows that her Daddy wanted to die."

"But she knows you would never leave her," Sam comforts.

"Yes, I would never leave my girls," he says intently.

"It will be ok," she assures him.

-0-0-0-

Jack and Sam have been laying in bed for an hour when she hears him let out a loud sigh. She rolls over to face him.

"Did I wake you up?" he says, running a hand through her face.

"Haven't got to sleep yet," she confesses.

"She's a new species," he says.

"No, Jack," Sam protests.

"Samantha, humans do not have genetic memory, ergo our daughter is something new."

"I know," she says, looking down. "Jack, we need to give her a sibling."

"Sam, we can't do that! Do you get that she has memories or war? Do you get that when she closes her eyes she sees her brother's blood all over the floor? I will not do that to another child."

"I understand that Jack, but I don't regret her."

"Of course not!" he exclaims.

"And I wouldn't regret her sibling."

"Not regretting is different than having a baby on purpose."

"Jack, she is going to need someone who understands her."

"She has parents."

"Really? You've ever been an infant with little control over your body trying to sort out four people's memories or two people and two aliens if that is how you want to think about it, and finding your identity?"

Jack just looks at her.

"Please?" she pleads.

"You're going to stop going through the gate?"

"As soon as I get pregnant."

"You mean as soon as you know you're pregnant? Because that is actually a few weeks after you get pregnant."

"I know, but I'm pushing forty, and it might take a while to get pregnant. I don't want to leave the Stargate for four years and then not end up with a baby."

"I get that, Sammi, but our chances of having a kid would be better if…"

"Jack," she stops him.

"Sam, I want to retire. Especially now, our baby needs a full time dad."

"Jack, it's not time yet," she mutters.

"You don't want us near you?" he asks speaking out the panic that has been growing in his heart lately.

"Oh, Jack," she says, touching his face gently, "How could you ever think that? I want you with me every second."

"And yet you don't want to be in the same state as me."

"Jack, we have to keep her safe. I don't trust anyone else to sit in your chair. Well, a few people, but they wouldn't be the ones that get it when you leave."

"So as soon as I find a good guy to fill my chair, I can retire?" he asks.

She nods.

"I'm going to devote some time to working on that," he says with a grin.

"As long as you wait until you leave first," she says.

He unites his hand with hers, and the rings tingle. "We're going to be ok," he tells her.

"Yeah," she sighs, looking sad.

He crinkles his forehead in a question.

"She's going to remember her parents living apart. I really hoped that she wasn't going to remember that."

"She gets that her mom loves her," Jack assures her.

"I don't know that she does. I wouldn't if I were her, and she is so little. I don't even know where she is on emotional development."

"Sam, tomorrow you need to show me how to work that computer thing where you talk. I think you need to have a nightly chat with your daughter. And I think she'll do better when she actually sees your face."

"I'd like that Jack, too," Sam whispers.

"I love you."

"You too, baby."


End file.
